in a daze

i've been working in a daze the whole week, had to be told off by b to take a freaking break at least every other 2 hours or so...okokok...geezuss...

so i was just trying to rush through everything before my supposed mini-break in a few days... bleurgghh... my mini-break is not by choice anyhow, it's chinese new year, the time of the year to gather with your super huge extended families from both sides of your parents... not fun, a break nontheless, but not fun

maybe some of you fella singaporean chinese would feel this way??? at least most of my friends do :p

especially when you are at the ripe-old-age of 26... not a millionaire... unmarried... with no private property to your name... you'd still be that wacky little girl who hasn't grown up yet and still daydreaming away idealistically, without a "proper" job...

hellooooo old fardy-dards, it's 2006. what constitutes a proper job. being cooped up in office for 10 hours a day??? getting a payslip from some person higher up??? getting lots of cpf contribution??? talking serious matters with a f***ed up stern look, using proper business terminology??? counting cold hard cash every end of the day??? ppuuleasee....

i love laughing while working, i love being stupid while working, i love acting silly and doing strange things while working, i love talking to myself while working. doesn't mean i'm stupid, strange or dumb, playing a fool, and not doing things the right way.... it just means you don't get it. duh. i do invoices and accounts and the shiat myself. i don't count petty cash, and i am not obliged to show you nor tell you my self-employed salary either. hell, you don't even understand what i'm doing in the first place.

prim and proper, prim and proper, i quit my job and refuse to work for others because i refuse to be prim and proper. i don't take instructions well, and i don't like to follow rules. i like to make my own rules. so there.

in singapore, anything that's unconventional or cannot be fully labelled or categorised is not a proper job. things are looking just slightly better now, but by just that tiny speck... what an educated and civilised nation :p

well, at least i'm going my b and both my parents to the fabulous chingay parade.. hurrah for that!! we haven't gone out as a whole family for quite some time.. and also hoping to make it for a short beach holiday with b... very mild hope... but hoping...

new sewer's verdict - she's okay, i guess i could use her help with some simpler bag designs, i think some of my shapes were a tad difficult for her to follow symmetrically. i hope to be able to sew very minimal bags in a couple of months, and let hired sewers do most of them, since they are by machines. and i can fully concentrate on all the handcrafted stuff, like my brooches and plush, which are all done only by me... cos i've no template for those, i cut them out free handed, and i like to do it in this not-very-productive-primitive way... muahahhaha... :p