cranky

i had the most fabulous time at attica on saturday night with b, it has been such a long time since we went clubbing and drinking together exclusively (6 months??), without being with a whole group of friends, and it was really nice for a change... and it's b's birthday this coming friday, and i still gotta come up with the surprise gift part II... *blank* oh, we always do gifts in parts, part I, II, III, don't know why, both of us just think this way's more fun... oh, and x'mas gifts.. gawd... *super blank* i'm so busy packing gifts for my customers and yet have yet to do any for my friends... it's so lucky to be my friend huh LOL

other than sat night, it has been the most torturous time, i don't feel like celebrating the whoopping number of sales at all, it's totally weird and screwy. being busy and having lesser sleep is totally making me too unnecessarily sensitive to everything and everyone around me. like my menopausal dad today. the whole situation just pissed me right off to the moon. no rudeness to the elders intended.. but whatever, think what you like. ppfftt..

december has never been so un-december-ish for me... wow, can't wait for 2006...

i believe if someone truly has the intention of helping another person, to the extent of volunteering their help without being asked, they will, should, and must, do it wholeheartedly and 110% willingly and happily. to feel obliged to help, means it is coming mostly from the mind and not the heart. which means you're not doing it to help the other person, you're simply doing it for yourself, to make yourself look and feel good that you've been, technically speaking, "helpful". and that, is fucked up, and that "helpful" person should just stop doing whatever he is doing.

if i've a 100 to spare, i'll spare all 100, if i've 10000 to spare, i'll spare all 10000. don't act around me like some crazy pathetic fool whom i owe my 9 previous lives to. i don't owe anyone any shit, except my wholesale buyers, who have been waiting for their orders, a few favors here and there from some friends, and my mum who gave birth to me.

i'll take refuge in my paradise forest lair in my dreams tonight again... cos the world sucks ass... talking bears are much more fun.